9/7/2023 0 Comments Streets of rogue true believerThese articles are always replete with hyper-sized images of the orphaned penis, suspended mournfully in its formaldehyde soup-perhaps in the vague hope that its ugliness might elicit a few extra clicks. Occasionally newspapers will drudge it up again like the milled bones to an old fossil, struggling to reimagine the animal that was. Today, the Romanian press still can’t seem to let go of the storied penis. In 2014, a Bucharest nightclub owner thought it would be a good idea to make a replica of the severed member (with tattoo) and display it on the wall of his establishment for the amusement of drunken ravers. I tried to watch it recently but gave up after twenty minutes, when it became clear the movie was nothing more than a compendium of fantasies and outdated sex jokes. In 1995, a modestly-budgeted feature-length film was released that attempted to retell the fabled exploits of the outlaw, along with his tragic end. In Romania, this artifact and the story behind it have long been a source of intense fascination. It was at one time attached to an infamous outlaw named Stefan Vasali, known locally as Terente. It reads: “Fucks Fine when you Squeeze the Beak.” Unlike its Russian counterpart, however, this phallus has a decidedly clearer pedigree. It is also striking for its large tattoo: a column of text printed lengthwise down the shaft in the shape of an upside-down cross. It is not so much root-like as aquatic: a lowly marine mollusk, such as a sea-cucumber or perhaps one of those tube worms that desperately cling to thermal vents on the ocean floor. Its appearance differs considerably from the first. The second penis is on display in Bucharest, Romania, and is currently kept in the Mina Minovici Institute of Legal Medicine. Was it really Rasputin’s? Or was it merely pilfered from the corpse of some unlucky (and far less famous) character? No one knows. But despite the impressive appearance, there is scant evidence to corroborate this member’s illustrious provenance. Some of the images in my search feed include, somewhat pornographically, a blonde woman bending over to inspect the specimen, apparently both intrigued and repelled by its unsightliness. A quick google search for Rasputin dick yields a bottled organ that resembles something long buried underground, like an overgrown parsnip or a cankerous tree-root. Petersburg, and is said to have once belonged to Rasputin-the Siberian mystic who at one time served as the Romanov family’s private seer. The most insanely varied game ever made.As far as I know, there are currently two pickled penises-human, that is-on public display throughout the world. Lead a gang, free slaves, drink beer, gib ghosts, become a vampire, shrink people and stomp on them.4-Player online and local cooperative modes lets you brutalize goons AND loneliness!.Stupidly huge variety of items! Shrink rays, hypnotizing devices, boomboxes, bear traps, food processors.Play as over 20 (and growing!) wildly different types of characters! Bartender, scientist, hacker, gorilla - hey, your job is probably in there too!.Super-advanced artificial intelligence that won’t put up with your crap! Outsmart these virtual humans and feel superior to your computer!.Random world generation and TOTALLY EXTREME gameplay variety means you can play for 600 hours and not get bored! Seriously though, go outside!!!.Play the game YOUR way! Don’t want to kill anybody? That’s cool! Want to hack computers? Got ya covered!.Or how about a hyper-intelligent gorilla, rescuing other caged gorillas to form a small mobilized gorilla army?.A genial bartender who can talk his way past the most intimidating of guards?.A stealthy doctor who uses chloroform and tranquilizer darts to silently take down the opposition?.Will you play as a soldier who shoots first and asks questions later?.In order to progress, the player will need to accomplish specific mission goals in any way they see fit through use of their special character traits, items, and the environment. Rather than taking place in a dungeon, the game is set in a functioning, procedurally generated city, where complex AI informs denizens from all walks of life, who are just trying to get by in their daily activities. The game takes inspiration from fast-paced top-down rogue-lites like Binding of Isaac and Nuclear Throne, and adds free-form, experimentation-driven, emergent gameplay elements of RPGs like Deus Ex. About This Game Streets of Rogue is a rogue-lite about player choice, freedom, and anarchic fun.
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